Sunday, September 28, 2008
eveytime after counting, i wonder whether to feel happy or sad. most of the time i'm happy but there's always this nagging sadness within me. and i have to conceal it. i have to cry secretly. i don't want to show any signs of weakness because i chose this. i want to stick with it because i believe in it. i should stop being a wimp. i'm still trying. how come you never understand that i'm being normal? i guess it's me
starting it again. now i know when i felt for person x i was actually feeling for myself totally.
and another thing. i have been encouraging myself and drumming up my courage to go talk to you everytime i see you online but then it's been too long and a tad bit too weird right. i've told douya many times i will do it but i don't even know why it is so hard. why is it so easy for me to talk to anyone else but you. and it's not even that we left off on a bad note. we just disappeared from each others' life and just like that, we threw our friendship away.
douya's entry was thought-provoking. i do think that as we get older we get more guarded too because we're too aware of the different types of people around and who we want to filter which indirectly is kind of picking your friends afterall.
love you like a sister;
3:34 pm
